I use Moviestorm on a daily basis, but I have to switch fairly regularly between Moviestorm version 1.0.4 (our current public release) and the cutting-edge (read: broken) development version, which is only accessible by compiling and running our current source code. If I’m running a demonstration, or answering posts on the Moviestorm forums, I’ll boot up 1.0.4. I’m also currently writing a whole bucket load of documentation, though, and that’s being written against the latest development version.
The problem with the dev build is that it changes daily. In fact, often it changes hourly. And, every so often, you’ll find a little bit of functionality that hasn’t quite been raised to the usual high standards of absolute perfection that we’ve come to expect from Moviestorm. Little bits like this genuine example from the current dev build:
Here is a tip for increased success in life, which I give to you, my faithful reader (or perhaps even “readers”) out of the goodness of my extensive heart. Following this rule faithfully will guarantee a less troublesome life. The tip is this:
If you have recently moved house, and your new house is – literally – next door to a primary school, do not, under any circumstances, get out of bed at about nine o’clock and wander round in front of your open bedroom window in nothing but your boxer shorts.
This tip was brought to you by I Hate Sheep – making the world a better place, one idiot at a time.
Today I found a pork scratching in my bag of pork scratchings that was at least twice as big as any pork scratching I have ever before encountered. That was a worryingly important milestone in my week.
Cambridge, my current humble abode, must be one of the most bike-friendly cities in the world. First of all, it is resolutely, uncompromisingly flat. There are no hills in Cambridge. When it rains, the water just mills about in little puddles looking confused. There are also bicycle lanes everywhere, and bike stands on every street. There are a phenomenal number of cyclists, and the city is full of motorists who have been trained to be aware of bikes.
And yet, still, despite all of this … people still cycle on the pavements. Why? Why do they do this? That’s where I’m trying to walk. The little bit of road that’s specially dedicated to them – you know, the one with the little picture of a bike on it – is where they should really be. If I started walking down the street in the bike lane I’d soon get comments.
Also, why is it that so many motorists seem to have trouble understanding the phrase “only if your exit is clear”? Do the crosshatching boxes actually have the words “Free Parking” painted across them but only visible from behind the wheel of a BMW? Get out of my way! I’m trying to cross the road! The lights have changed for the first time in fifteen minutes, and I have about three and a half seconds to cross before they change back. Your penisreplacementmobile is blocking my path.
I don’t drive, and never have, but I swear I’d be a better driver than most of the tossers on the road.
At the time, it seemed like a good idea. We were drunk, so was everybody else – why not take them back to our room and get them to recount their top 3 “machinima moments”? What could possibly go wrong?
Well. As you’ll hear if you’re brave enough to listen to the first of four interviews, when we’re as drunk as that and we think we’ve got a bleep machine, we use language and concepts that would make my prostitute blush. The thing I feel have to stress is this: we really, genuinely did believe that all our filthy expletives would be bleeped in post-production. We originally recorded this under the banner of Machinima For Dummies and Wiley Publishing. In the end, the filth-to-pre-watershed ratio was just so high that it was virtually un-bleepable. So we sent it to Overman. Not even his mad zound skillx were enough to bleep it properly, so we left it uncut and released it as an Overcast special. The only thing that’s bleeped now is any mention of Wiley or Machinima For Dummies.
The Overcast Episode 24 is – I really can’t stress this highly enough – NSFW. But, if you like the sound of a drunken Yorkshireman slurring obscenities into a microphone – and I know of at least one of you who does – then this is for you. There are another three to come, too, and they just get worse.
My poor mother would be so ashamed. Thank god she has no idea how to use the internet, and so never reads this blog.
Yes, you read the title correctly. Brace yourself.
Religeous-types try to convert me from my staunch atheism on a fairly regular basis, and the conversation always seems to follow the same basic lines. This example features A Christian Telling Me About Jesus, but it works the same for whatever mass-delusion the person concerned is trying to get me to buy into.
CHRISTIAN-TYPE: You should worship God and Jesus! It’s great!
ME: Well, I’m afraid I don’t believe in God, and I certainly don’t believe in Jesus in the way you’re meaning it.
CT: You should believe! It’s great! Why don’t you believe?
ME: Because there’s absolutely no evidence to incline me towards belief.
CT: Yes there is. What about the Bible?
ME: The Bible isn’t evidence, sorry. Just because I write “God exists” on a bit of paper, it doesn’t make it true.
CT: But the Bible comes to us directly from God, so it must be true.
ME: First of all, that’s circular logic of the most staggering design. Secondly, the existence of and content of the Bible is scientific fact. The accuracy or fallacy of the Bible is speculation. Therefore, the Bible is not evidence for the existence of God.
CT: Well, I believe in God. I know He’s there – I’ve felt his presence.
ME: That’s not evidence, either. It’s evidence for you (although I’d still be sceptical were I in your shoes), but it’s meaningless to me. You can’t admit that as evidence – it’s unscientific.
CT: Well, you’re obviously determined not to believe. Any evidence I give you, you just dismiss out of hand. There’s no point talking to you about this anymore.
ME: Oi! Come back here and argue properly!
I’m sick of this crap. The trump card that’s always pulled is “Well, you might not think of that as evidence, but I do.” As if evidence were somehow subjective, and open to interpretation. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. Something is either valid as scientific evidence or it isn’t. 2 + 2 is either 4, or it isn’t. You don’t get to decide whether or not you’re going to treat it as 5.
Now, piss off and stop trying to convert me until you can come up with something better than that.
P.S. Yes, it’s categorised as People I Hate. This is really starting to get on my nerves.
Actually, if you and I ever do hook up, you’ll be able to tell when our relationship has moved on to a very special level – it’s the day I give you my root password. Which, by the way, I will never do. What if we split up?
My life at the moment is basically a series of XKCD strips, loosely strung together by sleep and beer.
The final, absolutely definately last cut of the BloodSpell feature has now been released onto teh interwebx. What’s that I hear you cry? A trailer to whet your appetite? Why, certainly, Sir, Madam or Thing.
The full meaty BloodSpell goodness can be downloaded for free from www.bloodspell.com, as if you didn’t already know.
