Posted by Johnnie
Er … kill them? That ought to do it, surely?
Am I being too analytical? I sense that I’m not supposed to look at this too deeply, but simply accept it as something profound. If the guy with the deep voice said it over a trailer, that might help.
Posted by Johnnie
I was in a pub last night (which, apropos of nothing, served the most piss-poor watery excuse for beer that I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter), and they were playing Christmas carols. Loudly, consistently. The Most Annoying Christmas Tunes In The World Ever 3 on constant loop.
Now, check the timestamp on this post. It’s almost exactly two months till Christmas. If it’s now acceptable to start the relentless Christmas cheer at the end of September, that means I’m going to be forced to listen to Slade for a sixth of my life. That’s too much to ask of any man.
Posted by Johnnie
Suggestion for the Peperami marketing people: you have a product which consists of a long, cylindrical, extremely phallic stick of pink meat. You may find your sales increase if you do not package this product in a wrapper which looks, feels and (most importantly) unwraps exactly like a condom. You may also want to consider an alternative to the rather condom-like plastic wrapping that surrounds every peparami, and which one has to unroll in a condom-like fashion in order to slip the meaty goodness into one’s mouth.
Is it just me, or is it hot in here?